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Archive for March, 2008

Keagan’s EEG results came back today and they found nothing abnormal. That apparently does not rule anything out though and we will still be following up with his neurologist. Which is nothing surprising. I don’t actually have to make a new appt as he was going in next month for his 1 year follow up anyway.

I can not believe all of the craziness that surrounded my little guy’s birth was almost a year ago. I still can’t fully describe the pain we went through. Having your baby taken away from you so close after birth and worrying if he is ever going to live a normal life- or live at all- is terrible I wouldn’t wish it upon anyone.

We have been so blessed to have him be as healthy as he is. He is such a smart, happy little guy. Just how he should be. Today he said “bye-bye” for the first time. It was so cute.

I wish that I remembered happiness when I thought of his birth. I really don’t. There are happy moments in there, but more pain and fear surround it than anything. The day we brought him home from the NICU- that was a happy day.

I recently heard the term “birth rape” for when doctors force procedures upon women in labor and delivery. I don’t know if that’s exactly how I would describe what I went through…. but it may be close. I feel like I had my choices taken from me, I feel like I was violated. I know that the neglagence of the hospital hurt my son and I know I live with pain from it every day. Is that rape? I don’t know. But it isn’t right.

So as I get ready to celebrate my son’s birthday, I feel happy of course, but I also feel some of that pain brought up again. I hope one day I get to have a normal birth an a healthy child who gets to be at home with me right away. I wish I could go back and time and change things with Keagan, but I can’t. I can love this little guy more than I ever knew was possible, however.

Off to spend some time with my beautiful son whom I am blessed to have the joy of loving.

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So today I went for lunch with my mother and my son. On the way back to the car, I felt a pain on my leg. And then I felt it again… and again. It started to really hurt. I hopped around a bit and then told my mom to take Keagan so I could figure out what it was. Then I felt something crawling on my leg. Some sort of evil little creature had somehow gotten into my pants and worked its way to my upper thigh.So there I am, in the parking lot of Panera, hopping around like an idiot trying to decide how to deal with this. I wanted that creature out of my pants and I wanted it out NOW!

So my mom takes Keagan and wanders off somewhere and I go into the car and take my pants off. I had several welts up and down my leg left by whatever evil creature worked its way into my jeans.. I wanted to shake out my pants, but I don’t want said creature free in the car. And well, being half naked, I didn’t want to get out of the car and shake them out myself.

I tried to first wave to my mother, who had wandered away in the courtyard. She was showing Keagan a flower. I swear to God she looked right at me, and then back to Keagan and the flowers. So I honk the horn. She looks to the Saturn again and goes back to Keagan and the flower. The windows don’t roll down unless the key is in, so I opened the door to yell at her to come take the pants, exposing bits of my half naked self to half of Gig Harbor. Once again, my mom looks at me and then goes back to playing with Keagan. So I hit the horn again and finally she realized it was me making all that noise and she came.

She swears she didn’t know it was me…. she thought it was coming from another car…I think she was secretly mad at me for something…

Anyway, back to nearly naked Steph and the angry pants creature….
I handed my mom the pants and she handed me Keagan. She shook them out to no avail. I turned to the seat.

And
I
Screamed

(like a little girl)

on the seat was the biggest dead bee I have ever seen. I am not kidding, this thing was HUGE. I really didn’t mean to scream, but it was just so large. That, and I was not positive it was dead yet.

So mom takes Keagan back (who at this point is crying because Mama screamed) I fling the bee out of the car and close the door. In trying to wiggle my way back into my pant in the crowded back seat I flash the remaining half of Gig Harbor and we move on our way.

My leg still hurts and I still have that creepy, crawly feeling.

Just thought you may have needed a comedic break to your day.

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