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Archive for April, 2009

I took this silly little quiz on facebook. It was called “What’s Your Parenting Style?” I got the result “Extreme Granola Parenting.” It then went on to use the term “cave-mom” and other various negative descriptors such as hostile. It was fairly cute, but come on now. (and yes, I know it does not matter. It is just a facebook quiz…)

But it made me think. How do people see me? Does that fact that I wear my baby, nurse, cloth diaper, co-sleep, birthed Eden at home and take the kids to a naturopath instead of a pediatrician change people’s opinion on me? Do I care?

I was not always “crunchy.” In fact, I was very mainstream before becoming a mama. I just kind of went with the flow. I didn’t bother to question much. But I don’t think I would have come up with a silly little name like “Cave-Mom” for someone who was different from me. I just wish people could understand that not everyone thinks the way they do and that it’s okay! We’re all unique and that’s a big part of what makes this world so beautiful.

So I may wonder if my parenting changes how people see me, but I guess I don’t care. I am doing what feels right for my family. I have made educated choices about parenting and I am happy with them. I am not, however hostile towards any other mama who made an educated choice to do something different than what I chose.

Well it’s time to hit the rock (I am a cave-mom, right?) I’d better find my baby and nurse her in my bed while cuddling my two year old who sleeps there as well and my husband. Then I’ll wake up and put her in the sling and start my prehistoric day 😛

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So remember that wonderful place we moved into? Charming 1890’s mansion converted into a fourplex right next to the park in the heart of the city? The one I loved so much? The home in which I birthed our daughter? The one that I told you all felt like home for the first time?

They kicked us out of it. After less than two months.

What terrible thing could be do to deserve this you ask? Did we refuse to pay rent? Did we have raging parties? Loud fights? Illegal activities? No, none of that. We have children.

Our two year old walking around and quietly playing with his toys got us booted from our home.

And I promise you, I do mean quietly.

The people below us (friends of the landlords, I might add) work nights. Keagan, Eden and I are home in the daytime. I feel for these people, really. I’ve worked nights. It’s not fun to be on a shift opposite the rest of the world. I did everything I could to keep it quiet up there, but there is no pleasing some people. They once complained that it “sounds like he is coloring up there.” COLORING. They then asked if we would keep him in his bedroom until noon. Um, no. He’s a child, not a hamster. I am not going to cage him.

So they complained and complained and now we have no home. Well. We have a room at my parents house the four of us have been sharing. But none of our own.

Since we just had a baby and just moved in less than two months ago, we have no savings. We’re stuck in a really crummy place.

I am so sick of moving. Thus, the RV. Maybe if we just bought one of those we could always be home. I kid, mostly. I don’t want to find another place. I loved the place we had.

I am sure that God has a plan for us, but it’s hard to see it at the moment. I am sure we will end up someplace wonderful. As for now, we’ll make the best of our cramped quarters and be thankful for family.

And yes, I know this is illegal, but it was made pretty clear we’d be made miserable if we fought it. What’s the point to fight to stay if people are just going to go out of their way to upset you?

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Having two kids is, at times overwhelming. I knew that the spacing we picked would not be easy, but thought the benefits would more than outweigh the negatives.

As much as I’ve loved the past few weeks, they’ve been a tad rough. Poor Keagan is torn between loving Eden so much he can’t contain himself and hating her for taking Mama and Papa’s attention from him. I’ve been super tired. Not just tired, mind you… SUPER tired 😉 When Keagan was a newborn, I could nap when he was napping. Now, if I want a nap, my husband has to be home or Eden and Keagan have to nap at the same time. That blessed occasion has only happened twice in the past 13 days, so I am not counting on it happening often. But I’ve been tired. Eden likes to be up at night like many new babies… Keagan is two and takes a lot of energy.

But it’s okay.
Really.

Today, it just clicked. I found myself happy as can be. And not just happy, because I have been happy, in spite of an angry toddler and lack of sleep, but also at peace. Calm. Relaxed. Everything felt normal.

I found my new normal. And I like it. I am so glad to be living the life that I am. Sure, I haven’t eaten a meal without a child on my lap since before Eden was born. And maybe I do wish I could talk with adults more frequently. But I love my life. I wouldn’t trade the blessings that these little ones bring me for anything on Earth.

At some point in my life, my kids will be grown. My conversations will probably almost exclusively be with adults. I will not discuss the importance of keeping raisins out of your nose with anyone. I won’t sing the ABC song. My lap will remain empty while I eat. My body will be mine again. I won’t be pregnant or nourishing a little life with breastmilk. And that will all be fine in that stage of my life. I’ll adjust again to another new normal. But I love my life right now and I am going to try hard to be sure I cherish these moments.

Maybe it’s the placenta pills talking or maybe I am just really, really, happy. But I’ve never felt so settled in as I do at the moment.

Guess that means I have to go back to cooking and cleaning doesn’t it?

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My sweet little boy turns two today. Two years have passed by in the blink of an eye and yet I can’t even imagine my life without him. Keagan is so full of joy, so vibrant, so spirited, so energetic, so life-affirming, so … Keagan! My life has become more worth living because of his sweet presence. I am so very blessed to be “mama” to such a wonderful child.

His little sister is two weeks old today. I am also shocked to realize that sweet little Eden has blessed us with her presence for two weeks. Our wonderful little family is so full of love and joy.

Today is Easter. Such a special, beautiful day. Easter is filled with so much hope. It amazes me to think about the love of the Father and the miracle of Christ rising. We’re all given the beautiful gift of forgiveness because of the amazing grace of our Heavenly Father. There is so much beauty and joy in the miracle we celebrate today. Enjoy it. Embrace it. Bask in its beauty. Marvel in its joint wonder and simplicity.

Since today is Easter, we’ll be spending the day focusing on that. We’re having a birthday celebration for the little guy in a few weeks. I hope everyone has a blessed day!

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