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Posts Tagged ‘parenting’

So when my son woke up this morning, I told him he’d grown in his sleep and that he was now too big for diapers. At first, he burst into tears and I thought I’d done the wrong thing. As it turns out, he thought he was now a grown up and wanted to be a boy. After I’d explained he was just a bigger boy, he was okay- and get this- went ALL day without an accident. After over a year of trying to potty train, that’s what it took. I hate telling lies to my kids, but sheeesh. I am glad I told him this one.

I doubted myself at first. I came so very close to giving in and putting a diaper on him… but I knew he was ready and just needed a push. I hate lying to him though. I tried “it’s time, you’re too old,” and it didn’t work. The diapers not fitting (though his skinny bottom would fit for years yet…) seemed to work for him. I mean you can’t argue with it. It’s logical, if he can not wear diapers he is going to have to “go” somewhere. But, as happy as I am, I do feel mildly guilty for fibbing. Mildly.

Parents: Do you think white lies are part of the game or do you think we should always be completely honest?

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My sweet little Keagan was diagnosed with Sensory Processing Disorder a few months ago.

What is SPD? I’m still learning myself, but I’ll give it a go.

We all have quirks with our senses. You can’t stand the way a tag feels on your shirt. You are easily distracted by bright lights. Or maybe you have a hard time sitting still for very long. Or you can’t stand loud music. There’s something about each of us that we’ve learned to handle that isn’t “normal.” But what is normal is that, for most people, it’s just a few things that we can look past.

When it’s SPD, you have a lot of of  those “quirks” and you can’t just look past them. It sounds like people are screaming at you when they aren’t. When someone brushes against you it feels like they hit you. When you get a drop or two of water on your shirt it feels like you’re soaking wet. This is what life is like for my son. His senses seem to misfire. And in addition to that, he tries hard to seek out sensory response to try and figure it out. So he’s always jumping, always running. He climbs to high places and tries to jump. He has no fear in that sense and yet is hysterical when I vacuum.  Before we started giving him melatonin to help him fall asleep, bedtime would  take hours every.single.night. Some nights it still does. His brain won’t slow down on it’s own. He wants to talk about the shadows on the wall or the car he hears driving by or the book we read before bed. It’s as if all of this stuff is swirling around in his brain and he can’t block it out.

For more information, check out this link http://www.sensory-processing-disorder.com/sensory-processing-disorders.html

What SPD isn’t: It’s not a discipline problem. It’s not that my child is being “bad.” It’s not an excuse. It’s not made up. It’s a very real disorder that a lot of kids deal with.

This brings me to my point:

I’ve too many times heard people brag about telling parents to shut up their kid or complain about some kid who they thought was acting out in public. These people generally think that these kids they are passing in the grocery store or the like are “bad” because their parents are not parenting them correctly. Well that’s bullshit. I am sorry. My son may have a meltdown in a restaurant when he spills his water on his shirt. He may spin around in circles at the library. He may even slap a kid who touches his head. But he’s not bad. He has neurological disability and he and I are both still learning to handle it.  He’s only three. He looks totally “normal.”   And strangers passing us have not a clue how hard his days are nor mine.

So before you judge that mom in the store who’s child is throwing her shoes in the aisle or the dad at the park who’s kid crashed into you- stop. You don’t know what their life is like. You don’t know what their day has looked like up until that point. You don’t know if maybe mom only got an hour of sleep the night before because the wind kept their toddler up or if that boy got kicked out of preschool because he does not understand personal space and his mom is sad for him and desperate. You have NO CLUE WHAT SOMEONE ELSE IS GOING THROUGH.

Judge not, less ye be wrong. Move on, remove the plank from your eye and smile at the poor parent at the store. And please, don’t tell me how to raise my son. I am doing the best I can.

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I’d say this:

“Your toothbrush is not for scratching your penis.”

Being a Mama is so glamorous. 🙂

Keagan is still sick. Running a fever and coughing. Poor kiddo. Hopefully, he will be better soon and we can all go back to living a normal life. It would also help if the neighbors could be quiet. Hubby had a long talk with them today about how driving ATV’s after midnight is not appropriate and it wakes up our sick child. They acted all apologetic and said they would try hard to be quiet  when others may be sleeping. An hour or so later, at 11:30 pm, they started them up just the same.

We’re trying to decide if we want to move now, or wait until after Eden’s arrival. Since they’ve woken my child up three nights out of the last four, I can’t imagine what it will be like when I have  toddler AND a newborn. Plus, it makes me cranky.  Preggos need their sleep, too. It’s just extra frustrating because we JUST got all unpacked and settled, plus I like this place a lot. The place. Not the location or the neighbors. But the house itself is a wonderful layout for a family with a toddler. Sigh….

Off to look at rentals on craigslist and see if anything is nice enough to make me want to pack up again.

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So I thought I would sort of “review” some of Keagan’s Christmas gifts.

He got the “Blue Moo” CD by Sandra Boynton from my mom. Keagan LOVES music, and I want to make sure he has some music time every day, so this was a great gift. We played it today for the first time. A few of the tracks bored him a bit, but, for the most part it had him dancing all over the house. He waved his little hands in the air, he marched, he even pulled out his little toy drum and played along (to the beat, I must add… er brag.) So, minus a few songs that are fine, just not Keagan’s Taste, we loved it. It’s much easier to listen to than a lot of kids music (I can’t STAND little kids singing off key!!) and a lot of fun.

Also from my mom, he got Melissa and Doug “Stacking Emergency Vehicles.” These are also a hit. They are toy car meets puzzle. He loves pushing them around yelling “we-oooh-we-oooh” and also taking them apart and putting them together. He has a little trouble with the puzzle aspect, but he enjoys it and I think he’ll grow into them a bit more with age, which is a good thing. So many toys get boring to kids too quicky.

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The third and final toy I am reviewing today is the “Funrise My Little Rockstar Guitar.” While Keagan likes it, I don’t think he will for long. It’s already breaking! It has a wheel on the front that makes it make guitar sound effects. This wheel is already stuck. He’s played with it four times and it’s already stuck! It’s also annoying and does not really resmble a guitar in the way it’s used. I want to expose him to music, but in a more realistic fashion. And one that does not beep, light up and break in less than a week. I generally like more natural toys and this just reminded me why.

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And just because, here’s a photo of my little guy, playing in the laundry I was trying to fold. Who needs toys when you have a laundry basket?!

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So we cloth diaper about 50% of the time. I want to do it all the time, but sometimes the disposables are so darn tempting. We’ve been on a really bad sposie kick – I was so busy getting ready for Christmas, we’ve had a ton of snow and I feared power outages(and this the inablity to wash the cloth) and I just haven’t been motivated.

Well today, I got my motivation.

Keagan somehow tore his diaper. I didn’t notice for a few minutes. The living room got covered in those gross crystal things that fill disposable diapers. It was a gross, messy reminder of why we got into cloth to start with. Disposables are nasty!

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Keagan’s second out-of womb Christmas was nice. He woke up in a sweet and cheerful mood. I made him breakfast and he ate it in bed with Papa while I got everything ready in the living room. Then I read him two board books about the real meaning of Christmas and we went into the living room. He instantly saw and ran to his new toys. They were mostly bigger, so only one was wrapped. He got an easel, a table and chairs I painted with his and Eden’s names, a felt board with embroidered shapes I made for him and a stuffed puppy I threw in at the last minute. I put the puppy in the tree because he had spent the last two weeks trying to “decorate” the tree with his toys. He squealed with excitement when he saw it there. Then he pulled it out and kissed it. Totally worth the 50 cents at Goodwill. 🙂

From there, we went to my parents and enjoyed time with them, my brothers and their girlfriends. We exchanged gifts and Keagan got spoiled, but I guess a little bit of spoiling won’t kill him a few times a year 🙂 I am quite excited about the gift my little bro gave me – a night out while he babysits! Score! Keagan really loved the Larry the Cucumber stuffed toy my parents got him.

After that we went to the inlaws, where we ate dinner and exchanged gifts yet again. So yes, he got a LOT of stuff.

We had a few not so grand moments involving our car getting stuck in the snow (one time for 40 minutes!) but in the end, it was a great holiday and I am so glad to have been able to share it with my family.

I’ll post some photos later. I hope you all had a wonderful Christmas filled with love and reverence for the Baby born in Bethlehem.

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My son will only eat Annie’s Organic Bunny crackers. I can not get him to eat anything else. Even when he’s so hungry that he is shaking, he will turn down perfectly good food and scream that he wants “Munnies.”

Ugh. He’s been such a good eater until now.

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