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Archive for May, 2009

I So Enjoy My Son

He’s just delightful lately (a few acts of toddler violence aside…)

He’s had the cutest things to say lately. He told me yesterday that my left breast is Eden’s and my right breast is his.

Later on, he told the dogs to “have a nice day.”

Today, he told me that his ear is “bonk.” (he has a ear infection, again..)

I love how much more vocal he is these days and I thoroughly enjoy our little conversations. I think I will really miss his sweet toddler perspective on the world when he’s older.

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Blessed

When things don’t go my way for awhile, I can get kind of cynical. Last night, something small and simple reminded me how blessed I am and I feel 1000 times better. I’m noticing and appreciating all the wonderful things in my life.

Thank you, Lord, for all of the many blessings in my life.

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Not that I did not love her before, but over the past few days my love for my new little one has just grown and grown. She’s really becoming herself if that makes any sense. She’s showing her personality. And I love it. I don’t know if I can adequately explain the exponential growth of love I’ve had for her over the past few days.

When she smiles at me, my heart is full.
When she grabs my finger, I feel loved.
When she cries for me, I feel love and not pressure or annoyance.
When I watch her sleep, I feel at peace.

I can’t really explain it, but how can you ever explain your love for your child? It’s beautiful and it’s strong. I guess I can’t really explain it further.

I love being a mama to both of my wonderful kids.

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Wordless Wednesday

Loving these kids…

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In the two minutes it took me to use the restroom earlier today, my son found and ingested a few ounces of bubbles. Yummy. The guy at poison control said if he didn’t vomit large amounts in the next hour he’d be fine, just probably have the runs. No vomit, thankfully, but I am not looking forward to his next few dirty diapers. I think if I have to call Poison Control again, I will need to use a fake name. At the rate Keagan eats things he shouldn’t, they’ll probably report me to CPS. Haha.

We went to a playgroup yesterday and Keagan had a blast. He really loves playing with other kids. I’d take him back to the park today to get more interaction with other kids, but as it turns out there is rain of Biblical proportions pouring down so we are playing inside today. He’s getting tired of books and puzzles. I’m hopeful that after naptime it will be nicer outside. I don’t need sun… just a break in the rain. (spoken like a true Pacific Northwester)

It seems that Eden is following in her brother’s footsteps with food intolerances. Something in my diet makes her vomit big time. Poor little thing. I’ve cut out all dairy and soy. It seems to be getting a bit better so we’ll see if this works. I am praying it does because the poor little thing is just miserable. Plus, it’s really frustrating for a post partum Mama who is still losing weight and only has two pairs of pants to get large amounts of vomit on her clothes every day. Not that I don’t care about the kiddo first and foremost, but I would really love to not have to choose between sweatpants with a hole in the crotch and vomit soaked khakis.

Both kids are growing and changing so much by the day. Keagan talks more and more every day. In spite of the fact that I’ve done very little in the way of teaching him, he knows all his letters and their sounds and occasionally uses these skills to sound out words on his own. I am shocked by all of this. I didn’t expect him to be in the early stages of learning to read weeks after his second birthday, but he is.

He’s adjusting fairly well to his little sister, who’s been here five weeks already! He is very sweet with her about 90% of the time. Every once in awhile, however, his jealous streak shows. Usually when she’s nursing. Poor little guy misses it. My milk dried up when I was pregnant with her, but he’s always kept a strong attachment to my breasts. I’ve tried to offer nursing to him, but he only latches on for a few seconds. He does not want to nurse, but he sure does not want HER to get to nurse either.

Eden is smiling all the time now. I love that smiley new baby stage. She’s adorable. She’s growing so very fast. She looks like a new baby almost daily. We keep wondering who she looks like and I don’t think we’ll know for some time. It is so nice to cuddle such a sweet little one. I forgot how special this newborn time was the first time around.

As I look at her I wonder if she’s my last baby. I don’t know what our future holds, but I am snuggling close just in case.

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I am a stay at home mom. My job is to raise my two children. Sometimes, I struggle with this. I will admit it. Society has ingrained in my mind the idea that I need to work to be worthy. But I DO work. HARD. And my job is very important. I have the tremendously consequential task of guiding two young children along the path of life. Of feeding two hungry mouths, of kissing boo-boos and singing songs. Of teaching right from wrong and the abc’s. I have a lot to do everyday.

A lot of days, I feel like nothing got done. At all. My house will be a mess, whatever personal projects I have going on won’t be done and the dinner I cooked was … well not gourmet, that’s for sure. But my kids are happy. My son discovered some fun rocks on our walk. We talked about airplanes in the sky. We sang songs together and had tickle-fights. My daughter…well mainly she just wants a booby right now, but she gets that whenever she wants it. And even though I wish I were a better house keeper, these are the important things.

I came across this poem online and had to share:

I Took His Hand and Followed
Mrs. Roy L. Peifer

My dishes went unwashed today,
I didn’t make the bed,
I took his hand and followed
Where his eager footsteps led.

Oh yes, we went adventuring,
My little son and I…
Exploring all the great outdoors
Beneath the summer sky

We waded in a crystal stream,
We wandered through a wood…
My kitchen wasn’t swept today
But life was gay and good.

We found a cool, sun-dappled glade
And now my small son knows
How Mother Bunny hides her nest,
Where the jack-in-the pulpit grows.

We watched a robin feed her young,
We climbed a sunlit hill…
Saw cloud-sheep scamper through the sky,
We plucked a daffodil.

That my house was neglected,
That I didn’t brush the stairs,
In twenty years, no one on earth
Will know, or even care.
But that I’ve helped my little boy
To noble manhood grow,
In twenty years, the whole wide world
May look and see and know.

I truly hope I always remember that taking their sweet little hands and going on an adventure is more important than the kitchen sparking with cleanliness or my sewing project.

At the same time, I keep coming back to something. Staying at home is wonderful. It’s what is best for my whole family. But somewhere along the way, I lost part of myself. I have a hard time realizing that I need to do things for myself. And some days it is REALLY basic stuff. Like go to the bathroom, eat, shower. But beyond that… I need to engage with others. I need Christian fellowship. I need to have hobbies and interests. I need to remember that I am first and foremost a wife and a mama, but I am more than that too. My “job” is as important as they come. But I have to remind myself that I matter.

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