“When a child hits a child, we call it aggression.
When a child hits an adult, we call it hostility.
When an adult hits an adult, we call it assault.
When an adult hits a child, we call it discipline.” – Haim Ginott
I actually get a lot of flack for choosing NOT to hit my child. I am not telling anyone what to do, but I thought I would share this perspective. I think children “learn what they live.” If what they live is violence, I personally believe that they will, in fact, learn violence. Why act in a way towards your child that could send you to jail if you did it to an adult in a public place? Or that your child would be suspended from school for using towards another child. Or you would punish one child for using with their sibling?
A lot of this pressure I get to spank comes from Christian friends. They say the Bible is very clear on this topic, and that it says you must spank your children. I don’t see it that way at all.
First, let’s look at some scripture.
“Truly I say to you, to the extent that you did it to one of these brothers of Mine, even the least of them, you did it to Me.”
~ Matthew 25:40
I think that children surely fall into the “least of these” category. When you strike your child, you are striking the Lord.
Fathers, do not provoke your children to anger, but bring them up in the discipline and instruction of the Lord.
~ Ephesians 6:4
Violence leads to anger, plain and simple. If we are to bring up our children in the way of the Lord, we are to love them. The greatest commandments are about love… and I think hugs and kisses go a lot further with your child than belts and spankings.
Fathers, do not exasperate your children, so that they will not lose heart.
~ Colossians 3:21
What could be more exasperating than having the person you love the most, the person who is supposed to guide you and teach you how to live your life HIT you and cause you pain when you have made a mistake?
Correct your son, and he will give you comfort; He will also delight your soul.
~ Proverbs 29:17
All of this, by no means says you should not correct your child and teach them. It just does not have to be violent. There are ways to discipline without using your hands.
But what about the scriptures that refer to “the rod?”
Pr 13:24 He that spareth his rod hateth his son: but he that loveth him chasteneth him betimes.
Pr 22:15 Foolishness is bound in the heart of a child; but the rod of correction shall drive it far from him.
Pr 23:13 Withhold not correction from the child: for if thou beatest him with the rod, he shall not die.
Pr 23:14 Thou shalt beat him with the rod, and shalt deliver his soul from hell.
Pr 29:15 The rod and reproof give wisdom: but a child left to himself bringeth his mother to shame.
This does sound like we should be hitting our children… but to really understand, we should look at the historical meaning of the word that was translated to “rod” in these King James scriptures.
The word in its original Hebrew is shebet. It is defined in Strong’s Hebrew Lexicon as:
a. rod, staff
b. shaft (of spear, dart)
c. club (of shepherd’s implement)
d. truncheon, sceptre (mark of authority)
e. clan, tribe From an unused root probably meaning to branch off; a scion, for example literally a stick (for punishing, writing, fighting, walking, ruling, etc.) or figuratively a clan.
King James translates the word shebet as tribe 140 times, rod 34 times, sceptre 10 times, staff 2 times, miscellaneous other words 4 times.
There are words in Hebrew that could more clearly be used it the Bible were talking about a switch or stick as many people seem to view this scripture.choter and matteh are some of these words. They have specific meanings that indicate a branch etc.
The word shebet, however does often mean a staff. As in the staff that shepherds used to guide their flocks of sheep. A shepard gently uses such a staff to guide his flock, as a parent should gently guide their children.
If this was to be made clear, that we should all break branches off of tress and hit our kids with them, wouldn’t a more specific word have been used?
If you’d like a better study of all of this, check out http://www.gentlechristianmothers.com/articles/rodstudy.php. It goes through and shows every time shebet is translated to “rod” and shows the meanings behind the scriptures. It’s very good and where I got a lot of my information.
This was not written to chastise anyone for their parenting choices. It was written so people understand mine, and so that people can see another point of view. I’ve heard so much absolutism on this subject, with a “I am right and you are wrong” kind of attitude. I just thought I would show that there is another perspective and it is valid.
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Fierce Paradise 